You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
