Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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