i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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