He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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