nut hugger
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
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