It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
He uses pillows to masturbate.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
