our cab driver is having phone sex.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
