So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
