I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
