You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
