Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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