My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
