i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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