loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
