think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
