I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
