yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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