When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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