My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
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