I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
