So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
