i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
