I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
