dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
