I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
