i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
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