im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
...so i touched it.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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