okay pat passed out under dana's car
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
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