you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Randomize
