At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
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