The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
