We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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