Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
