That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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