I got chris browned last night
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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