took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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