In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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