just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Someone shattered a urinal.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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