Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
