"it" just moved
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Randomize
