I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
