woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
