She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
It's never too late to be topless.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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