i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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