there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
