Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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