I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
do herpes really smell.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Randomize
