the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
