she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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