I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
