she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
