just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
