He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
