I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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