we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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