Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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