She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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