But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize