i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
