Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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