only if we run a train.
done.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
