You're so nebulous sometimes
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
